Guilt
A while ago, I had a conversation with an older man, about 50 about Iraq. Being 22, I told him that I feel extreme guilt that so many from my generation are working in brutal conditions in Iraq. He didn't understand what I meant by guilt, and I probably will have as much trouble articulating it here as I did to him. The army is all-volunteer, but no one knows what it feels like to be at the moment of death. No one knows what it feels like to kill someone, to stab human flesch. I don't at least. President Bush doesn't.
Some of my generation serve in my army because they came from poorer families than me and didn't have many options for college or good work. Some still don't understand the truth about the Middle East because of a misleading president and an apathetic media.
All of them are incredibly brave. All of them are good people. And many of them will be stricken with mental illness. I wrote a letter to my local newspaper, the Daily Press, over my concerns of creating another war-torn generation of mentally ill people. I received hateful calls of people who thought I was a pussy; they thought I didn't get it. And I will grant them that I will never understand military thinking, but I do have an idea of the difference between normal and abnormal situations. Working on a construction site is normal. Working in a chaotic country, shooting at people who you can't tell are enemies or friends, having buddies die in your arms, is not a normal situation. And people will not act normally after coming back from such an abnormal situation. Strangely enough, the most informative pieces I have read on PTSD in Iraqi veterans has been from GQ magazine, which has done a couple of pieces on it.
You can talk about war and politics. But when you send a 20 year old over to the Middle East to fight, to die, to watch friends die, to kill, to witness and cause unnatural human death, how dare you talk like a cowboy or a macho bullshitter about how you're saving the world. You can't go from being a drunk, to a baseball team owner, to a governor, to president and just allow the destruction of my generation. How dare you. How dare you invoke God? God does not want this war. How dare you invoke freedom? You won't even let two people of the same sex marry. How dare you invoke preemption? Iraq could not even defend itself let alone attack us. How dare you invoke safety? How safe are my friends serving in Iraq? How safe are the ill without health insurance? The United States was not in danger from Iraq. American citizens now are in danger because of Iraq: because they are in Iraq.
I do wonder, why President Bush wanted to attack Iraq. I don't know why. And I wonder if he regrets it. I don't know.
I don't know how people cannot see a collosal mistake. I don't know how it was even possible for this administration to have demonized Hans Blix. This is a country without reason.
I do know that I want to help returning veterans, and I am not sure how.
Some of my generation serve in my army because they came from poorer families than me and didn't have many options for college or good work. Some still don't understand the truth about the Middle East because of a misleading president and an apathetic media.
All of them are incredibly brave. All of them are good people. And many of them will be stricken with mental illness. I wrote a letter to my local newspaper, the Daily Press, over my concerns of creating another war-torn generation of mentally ill people. I received hateful calls of people who thought I was a pussy; they thought I didn't get it. And I will grant them that I will never understand military thinking, but I do have an idea of the difference between normal and abnormal situations. Working on a construction site is normal. Working in a chaotic country, shooting at people who you can't tell are enemies or friends, having buddies die in your arms, is not a normal situation. And people will not act normally after coming back from such an abnormal situation. Strangely enough, the most informative pieces I have read on PTSD in Iraqi veterans has been from GQ magazine, which has done a couple of pieces on it.
You can talk about war and politics. But when you send a 20 year old over to the Middle East to fight, to die, to watch friends die, to kill, to witness and cause unnatural human death, how dare you talk like a cowboy or a macho bullshitter about how you're saving the world. You can't go from being a drunk, to a baseball team owner, to a governor, to president and just allow the destruction of my generation. How dare you. How dare you invoke God? God does not want this war. How dare you invoke freedom? You won't even let two people of the same sex marry. How dare you invoke preemption? Iraq could not even defend itself let alone attack us. How dare you invoke safety? How safe are my friends serving in Iraq? How safe are the ill without health insurance? The United States was not in danger from Iraq. American citizens now are in danger because of Iraq: because they are in Iraq.
I do wonder, why President Bush wanted to attack Iraq. I don't know why. And I wonder if he regrets it. I don't know.
I don't know how people cannot see a collosal mistake. I don't know how it was even possible for this administration to have demonized Hans Blix. This is a country without reason.
I do know that I want to help returning veterans, and I am not sure how.
posted by Kyan at 10:04 PM
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