Reality is We All Want Love

FROM PRESIDENT BUSH’S STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS:

A strong America must also value the institution of marriage. I believe we should respect individuals as we take a principled stand for one of the most fundamental, enduring institutions of our civilisation. Congress has already taken a stand on this issue by passing the Defense of Marriage Act, signed in 1996 by President Clinton. That statute protects marriage under federal law as the union of a man and a woman, and declares that one state may not redefine marriage for other states.
Activist judges, however, have begun redefining marriage by court order, without regard for the will of the people and their elected representatives. On an issue of such great consequence, the people's voice must be heard. If judges insist on forcing their arbitrary will upon the people, the only alternative left to the people would be the constitutional process. Our nation must defend the sanctity of marriage.
The outcome of this debate is important, and so is the way we conduct it. The same moral tradition that defines marriage also teaches that each individual has dignity and value in God's sight.

MY RESPONSE:

The hope of a loving, lifetime relationship is a hope that I believe many people like me, now 22, have for themselves. And even though I grew up in a society where dentists prod young boys as I was with questions like, “So, you got a girlfriend yet?”, the hope is the same for princes who choose either a princess or prince. When you think of the meek, young, sensitive boys who grow up and don’t choose women to partner with, do you think of people attacking marriage? If our call is to protect marriage, the question is: whose marriage rights are being attacked? How are people who want to marry someone of the same sex attacking those who already have the right to marry someone of the opposite sex? Even if it were true that the will of the people is against the right of all to marry as they choose, regardless of the sex of their partner, whose will is it that matters? It is not my will that George Bush refuse to answer reporter’s questions during press conferences, but it is not my place to create regulation on how he expresses himself. If I were morally or ethically opposed to the idea of two men or two women marrying, I would hope and I believe that because of my other principles, I would still support their right to marry, as I support the right of people from opposite sexes to marry. I would hope that despite my beliefs on how I should live my life, I would let others live theirs according to their beliefs.

And my biggest hope for George Bush and those who I want to understand more fully the issue, is that they realize that the sex of the person one marries or relates to intimately is so terribly insignificant compared to everything else about that person. When George Bush talks about his wife Laura, he really does seem to sincerely relate to her. Is the most important thing about Laura Bush her sex? Or is it her smile? Her warm caring nature?

Is love by any other sex still not love?

Guilt

A while ago, I had a conversation with an older man, about 50 about Iraq. Being 22, I told him that I feel extreme guilt that so many from my generation are working in brutal conditions in Iraq. He didn't understand what I meant by guilt, and I probably will have as much trouble articulating it here as I did to him. The army is all-volunteer, but no one knows what it feels like to be at the moment of death. No one knows what it feels like to kill someone, to stab human flesch. I don't at least. President Bush doesn't.

Some of my generation serve in my army because they came from poorer families than me and didn't have many options for college or good work. Some still don't understand the truth about the Middle East because of a misleading president and an apathetic media.

All of them are incredibly brave. All of them are good people. And many of them will be stricken with mental illness. I wrote a letter to my local newspaper, the Daily Press, over my concerns of creating another war-torn generation of mentally ill people. I received hateful calls of people who thought I was a pussy; they thought I didn't get it. And I will grant them that I will never understand military thinking, but I do have an idea of the difference between normal and abnormal situations. Working on a construction site is normal. Working in a chaotic country, shooting at people who you can't tell are enemies or friends, having buddies die in your arms, is not a normal situation. And people will not act normally after coming back from such an abnormal situation. Strangely enough, the most informative pieces I have read on PTSD in Iraqi veterans has been from GQ magazine, which has done a couple of pieces on it.

You can talk about war and politics. But when you send a 20 year old over to the Middle East to fight, to die, to watch friends die, to kill, to witness and cause unnatural human death, how dare you talk like a cowboy or a macho bullshitter about how you're saving the world. You can't go from being a drunk, to a baseball team owner, to a governor, to president and just allow the destruction of my generation. How dare you. How dare you invoke God? God does not want this war. How dare you invoke freedom? You won't even let two people of the same sex marry. How dare you invoke preemption? Iraq could not even defend itself let alone attack us. How dare you invoke safety? How safe are my friends serving in Iraq? How safe are the ill without health insurance? The United States was not in danger from Iraq. American citizens now are in danger because of Iraq: because they are in Iraq.

I do wonder, why President Bush wanted to attack Iraq. I don't know why. And I wonder if he regrets it. I don't know.

I don't know how people cannot see a collosal mistake. I don't know how it was even possible for this administration to have demonized Hans Blix. This is a country without reason.

I do know that I want to help returning veterans, and I am not sure how.

Too Liberal or Too Lazy?

My question is: was the Democratic party too liberal in this past election, or did not enough liberal-minded people vote? Or are liberals not mindful enough of what conservatives fear to lose? Or are conservatives not mindful enough of what liberals fear not to gain?

I do not claim to understand completely conservative's resistance or fear of homosexuals. I do see that in middle America, people on hard times, living meagerly, all they have is a marriage and family. And when I say all they have I don't mean that in a denigrating way. I say it in a way that is envious. Afterall, who would you rather be, Ebenezer Scrooge or Bob Cratchit?

And I see myself and the gay community as lost in a pathless wood. Gay men as boys are sensitive, meek, and caring. As adolescents, they see a future of depravity, meaningless sexual encounters, and a dark community and future, one without permanent connection or any chance for posterity.

If anyone had any illusions about the hearts of gay people being deviant, you need not look farther than the barage of complaints of wanting normalized same sex relationships--cries for monagamy and the right to marry.

In our society it is more acceptable for two men to have sex in a public restroom than to hold hands in a park.

Wouldn't you be afraid to be gay too?

Gay people want what middle America wants: home, connection, love.

This life isn't a dress rehearsal. Before you go creating classes of citizens remember that we are all first human beings.

Why Kerry / Edwards Lost

Quite simply, Kerry / Edwards received less votes than Bush / Cheney.

But why?

Was it the catastrophic success in Iraq:

1,000 dead American citizens in Iraq.

100,000 dead Iraqi citizens.

$200 billion

instability, chaos, breeding ground for terrorists

giving a no-bid contract to halliburton ?

Was it because Bush reached out to all Americans:

• attempted the first constitutional amendment that would take away rights from a class of citizens, banning any future laws allowing gays to marry
• gave tax cuts to companies who outsource overseas ?

I could go on and on, but the fact is, it wasn't any of those reasons. The only reason is: too many people in red states are idiots. I volunteered handing out sample ballots at my polling place for the Kerry campaign. We were not trying to change anyone's mind; we were simply helping people understand how to vote.

A man came up to us and asked: are you with the Kerry campaign? I hadn't been up until an hour ago when I started handing out sample ballots, but I answered yes. My friend Katie was with me and answered yes as well. Ready to answer any questions he might have had, he said in a Clint Eastwood voice, "I'm here to tell you why I'm not voting for Kerry."

Perfect! Enlighten us!

He continued (accurately paraphrased):

I'm not voting for Kerry because this country is going to Hell in
a handbasket. You all should be ashamed of yourselves for associating with
homosexuals. It's disgusting. With all the problems we have, how am I supposed
to face my God and tell him that I voted for a man who associates with
homosexuals? You're just demons working for the devil.

There were many clever things I thought to say, but I didn't. I didn't want to have my beautiful face punched in--I don't think Clinique makes a product for that. I also didn't want to risk that he might be legally carrying a concealed weapon. So I said nothing. Katie was smart and said, "We're all God's children." I hear on the news tonight that the main issue for those who voted for Bush was "moral values." I guess I know what that means up close and personal now.

Bush directed the murder of about 400 Americans as governor of Texas under the guise of the death penalty. That doesn't meet my definition of moral behavior. Bush's father pulled rank and got his son into the National Guard to avoid the savage battle in Vietnamn that Kerry volunteered himself for. Bush couldn't even manage to show up for National Guard duty. Kerry received four Purple Hearts, yet those with moral values somehow managed to show that Kerry was the one without principle. So, Red America, I don't get you.

I do understand conservative principles. I have tried to open myself to hear them: small government, strong defense, keep government off your back. But, you didn't vote with those principles.

SMALL GOVERNMENT: You voted for a president who turned a $500 billion surplus into a $500 billion budget gap (a deficit that you pay interest on through your taxes). The federal debt has increased by over $2.5 trillion dollars (also money you pay interest on). This is a high rolling president.

STRONG DEFENSE: Al Qaeda attacked the US on 9/11. 17 of the 19 hijackers were from Saudi Arabia, Bush's old oil stomping grounds where he has many friends. The US did start to go after the Saudi Arabian based terrorist Osama Bin Laden, but prematurely evacuated the region he was in for a more pressing matter: Saddam Hussein, whose great claim to fame was once having
talked about assinating Bush's daddy. The US military is way too spread out, and the guards are being used as backup instead of for their intended purposes. Kerry wanted more troops on the ground; Bush thinks everything is OK.

KEEP GOVERNMENT OFF YOUR BACK: Bush doesn't want the government off your back. He wants church in your life. He wants public aid to be funneled through churches, and he has succeeded in doing that. He doesn't want gay people to make whoopy. He upheld Texas laws which were only in the '90s used to put people in jail for consensual sex. He tried to pass an amendment that would have taken away states' rights to decide marriage laws. I don't blame Bush. I blame all of those who were had. I have a few conservative friends who are all excited about this war in Iraq. They're macho. They think I am a pussy for not supporting it. They think I'm a fag. I think they need a reality check. I feel so much guilt knowing that if I were in a lower socio-economic range I might be dead or injured from having served in Iraq. I feel sick that my generation serving in Iraq didn't make enough money to be eligible for Bush's tax cuts. I feel sick knowing they are over there without direction and supplies to keep them safe. And I feel sick knowing they are there on the whim of some quixotic cowboy who has never known
what those young men and women will know.

Why I am Voting for John Kerry / John Edwards

I am voting for the Kerry / Edwards ticket because:

environmental laws have been repealed, laws like the ones that restrict how much mercury coal manufacturers can release

we need a president who is intelligent and can respond to the complexities of international politics

we need a president who recognizes that changes must occur to have a successful exit from iraq

we need a president who will consider the national deficit and is mindful of maintaining a balanced budget

we need a president with a vision that includes all americans.

Change

Looking at the news, the candidates, the concerns, the warnings, the flashing lights and rock steady intro music, you must think the opposite, and that is: there is a way through and up.

I am excited that today I had a crisis. Watching The View, I self-diagnosed myself with pre-election anxiety disorder. I have been so mad at the media for not having challenged Bush on the intelligence used to validate the war with Iraq. And I was sick of having to choose the lesser of two evils. And I felt completely overwhelmed.

And I had such cynicism. I had heard of blogs. And I thought who the hell would read someone else's thoughts. What drivel it all must be.

But I remembered a realization I had younger in life: it doesn't matter which direction you go in, just start sailing. And so I am starting a blog, to offer my daily reflection on the world of politics. I hope to be less biting, more open, and more optimistic about our world.

You just have to accept eventually that things in this world are crazy. I have given up trying to make George Bush make sense in my world. He doesn't make sense in my world. And I don't need him to tell me that I'm okay, but he sure is welcome to.